Where Can I Buy Valium

April 16th, 2006

Where Can I Buy Valium, I don’t like to see anyone spend the holidays alone so when my pal, self-defense expert Rickey Kang, said the bar he drinks at was shutting down for Easter, I invited him to spend the holiday with my family. Clearly, I’ve got to stop drinking rye and getting on the phone, because a sober Martin Sargent NEVER would have invited Rickey to a family gathering, especially one of a religious nature, valium no prescription roche. I mean, Rickey’s good folks, but there are some people you drink with, Buying valium, and other people you do non-drinking civil shit with. Rickey’s the kind of guy you drink with. He is definitely not the kind of guy you have over to eat a ham with your aunts and uncles.

But I wasn’t stressing out about it too bad, Where Can I Buy Valium. I mean, it’s one thing for Rickey to say that he was gonna get on a Greyhound and come here all the way from Gainesville and another thing entirely for him to actually do it, which is stronger xanax or valium.

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You’ve got to understand, I figured he’d be dead drunk from Holy Thursday all the way past the time the boulder got pushed from out in front of that tomb and we’d never see him. I didn’t even think he’d remember our conversation, Mixing valium with cocaine, and truth be told by Easter morning, as I found myself ass-deep in scalloped potatoes and fancy green bean preparation, I had pretty much forgotten about it too.

That is, until right about the exact second I heard something rustling around in the trees in the backyard, i need to purchase valium. Where Can I Buy Valium, And then a voice, “Martain. Martain. This your crib, dawg. Ebay damien hirst valium, Nice. Pretty fucking sweet.” Rickey Kang was in a tree in the backyard. On Easter Sunday, Where Can I Buy Valium. Four hours before the family was supposed to arrive. Awwww, fuck sticks.., taking a valium with a tramadol,.

Rickey Kang

Well, what are you going to do. Valium knights torrent, Dude takes a Greyhound all the way from Gainesville you better act like you’re thrilled to see him, so I gave him a can of Miller Lite and asked if he’d help me decorate the Easter Eggs for the children to find later on. Where Can I Buy Valium, Rickey shot-gunned the beer, grabbed a brush, and proceeded to paint nearly two dozen eggs in lightning quick fashion, each one a perfect replica of a different Iron Maiden album cover featuring that maggot-faced zombie, Eddie. It was pretty fucking cool, if a little Satanic for Easter Eggs.

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I figured the kids wouldn’t care and so long as my bat-shit holy-roller cousin Sheila didn’t see them, diazapam valium no prescription, I was just happy I didn’t have to paint a bunch of queer flower and ducky patterns on the wrecked soul casings of some chicken embryos I had just boiled for three minutes.

I needed to concentrate on glazing a ham so I told Rickey to go out in the backyard and hide the eggs. He grabbed the rest of the six-pack of Miller and headed out back, Valium forums, saying he was a fucking genius when it came to hiding shit after living briefly in a half-way house in Mobile where he had to hide all his cool stuff from the other fuck-up residents and his beer and dope from the counselors.

Rickey Kang

By the time the family arrived, Rickey was passed out on the sunny lawn, Where Can I Buy Valium. Five empty cans of Miller were clearly visible lying around him, but the eggs were no where to be seen as the kids started hunting for them. Now these little cousins of mine aren’t exactly sharp, but they are by no means retarded, valium by, and after ten minutes not one of them could find an egg. And then Little Jamie started crying, waking up Rickey. Valium for lasik surgery, sad niece

He lunged to his feet in full fighting stance and started yelling about how he was going to tear the tongues out of all the children’s heads if they didn’t shut the fuck up.

Rickey Kang Where Can I Buy Valium, “Ain’t you lil’ fuckers found any eggs, yet?” Rickey said. “There’s one right in front of you, little girl.” With that, Rickey lept over to Jaime and lifted a 5x5 sod-covered trap door from the lawn revealing a deep spider hole. Sure enough, valium half-life, lying at the bottom of the 9-foot pit was an egg, painted to look just like Maiden’s “Number of the Beast.”

kang egg 2

“Now why don’t you stop your whining and climb down there and get it, little girl?” Rickey said. Valium haloperidol, Well, it turned out the rest of the eggs were hidden in places equally difficult for three to five year old children to find. There was an egg inside an old oak tree that Rickey had hollowed out with a pebble, another deep in a sewer pipe, one inside an electrical box on top of a telephone pole, soma valium, and even one within the body of a possum that Rickey had caught, force fed with the egg, and trained not to run away or die from suffocation.

It was time for dinner, so we had all sat around the table, Sheila asked us to all hold hands so she could say grace, Where Can I Buy Valium. Origin of valium, About two sentences into the prayer, Rickey said, “Who you talking to, lady?”

“What do you mean, who, valium celexa. Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who died for our sins and rose from the dead today, on Easter, Valium dangers of, ” said my shocked and pissed off cousin.

“Okay, okay, lady, Jesus is cool, yellow valium. Pretty bad ass the way he whooped all them money Jews in that temple. Where Can I Buy Valium, Used a mother fucking cat-o-nine-tails in this one picture I seen. But that whole rising from the dead shit. And don’t get me wrong, Valium canada, I love Jesus and think he’d a made a kick-ass sparring partner, but I don’t see what’s so crazy about coming back from the dead.”

The table was silent.

“I mean, my old master, Tu Van Trang, xanax or valium for dr appt, he come back to life five or six times until his liver finally went. One time I seen his whole body burned to shit with gasoline from these swamp Indians he had some problem with and next night, I go to the Dixie Spinner. Who’s sitting at his usual barstool drinking Rumpleminze but Master Tu Van Trang, drunk and happy as a hooker at a truck stop during a hurricane warning.”

The family, except for my uncle Don, who was well sauced up on vermouth, was pissed, Where Can I Buy Valium. Valium by watson, Especially Sheila. So I told Rickey I’d fix him a plate and sent him over to the Tattle Tale Room where I’d meet him to drink when everyone left.

“Fine with me. Ain’t no one here got any Easter spirit anyway. Where Can I Buy Valium, Christ’d be pissed at y’all. And hey lady, valium for sale on the internet, what’s that bulge in your fat-ass jeans?”

With that, Rickey strutted slowly out of the house, grabbing someone’s half-drunk beer from a side table before exiting. Cafe vodka mocha valium, He didn’t even look back to see Sheila pull a Easter Egg with a perfect rendition of the classic Maiden album “Killers” painted on it out of her gunt.

kang easter egg

I apologized for Rickey, even though I didn’t mean it, and Sheila finished saying grace, even asking God to save Rickey’s wicked soul, buy generic valium on line. Then, before offering everyone a piece of glazed ham, I raised my water glass to make an Easter toast. You should have seen the looks on everyone’s faces when, upon taking that sip, they realized their water had somehow, miraculously, turned to some kind of shitty, warm beer.

Rickey fucking Kang, man. That dude is just spooky.

Rickey Kang.

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