XCVI. General Motors, Martin Sargent End Endorsement Deal
November 25th, 2008
CHICAGO – General Motors Corp and popular Internet personality Martin Sargent said on Monday that they would end their endorsement deal at the end of the year.
GM, which has warned it will soon run short of cash and is asking the U.S. government for financial support amid the economic slowdown, and Sargent, who was recently laid off by Revision3 and has already run out of cash and faces eviction, called the arrangement “mutual and amicable,” though at a press conference Sargent could clearly be heard saying “whatever, fuck cars” under his breath.
They cited a desire by the Internet Superstar to spend more time at this filthy tavern where he routinely embarrasses himself, as well as a need for GM to cut costs as it struggles with declining demand in the U.S. market.
“In light of the news coming out of Washington, this decision is the result of discussions that started earlier in the year, and the timing of this agreement with these other activities is purely coincidental,” said Mark LaNeve, GM’s North American vice president of sales, in a statement.
Added Sargent, “Meh. Cars are gay.”
The Detroit automaker has been slashing marketing costs across all venues, previously disclosing reduced spending on motorsports, as well as eliminating television ads next year during such events as the Oscars and Emmy award shows and the National Football League’s Super Bowl championship game, and ending its estimated $10 million per year subsidization of online personality iJustine’s pancake makeup.
Terms of the arrangement were not disclosed although GM spokesman Pete Ternes said it ends the automaker’s five-year deal with Sargent a year early. Sources say Sargent will continue to drive his 1984 Cadillac Eldorado until it completely shits the bed, predicted to occur in early 2009.
November 25th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Brilliant.
I assume Sargent will continue his part-time gig as the guy who dresses up like Orville Redenbacher in those weird old timey-meets-modern day popcornicle ads..?
November 25th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Martin Sargent, you make my day.
Can’t wait to see you back on screen somewhere buddy.
November 25th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
Damn this economic downturn. Stick in there Sarg. Hopefully they gave you a gas card for that boat.
November 25th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
It’s good to know the sarge is ready to bail us out here in michigan.
Stupid cars..
November 25th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
One time when I was rifling through the dumpster out back of the local psychics building, she came out and asked what the hell I was doing? I gave her a puzzled look and lit the hell out of there. You should have done the same thing with that Mark LaNeve fool. Car building simpletons anyway.
November 25th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
run that bitch into the ground. cars are a shitty investment anyway. and smoke a blunt with the windows down while your at it. keep on rolling… that’s all you can do.
November 25th, 2008 at 11:16 pm
Freakin’ great, Sarge!
Your writing is inspiring!
November 26th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
im not un-edumicated, but i do now that their are two many big words in above article.
November 29th, 2008 at 6:06 am
Heh. That caddy kicks ass Sarge. What are you gonna drive in some sell-out-mobile like Kevin Rose? Fuck that!
November 30th, 2008 at 1:15 am
That felt like a theonion article
November 30th, 2008 at 1:31 am
That car rocks. You should donate that to a museum so people years from now can enjoy the awesome it generates.