Where Can I Buy Diazepam

November 20th, 2008

Where Can I Buy Diazepam, Well I had had just about enough of that.

I mean sure, Diazepam 50c each, when you live in a building in the misty shadow of a freeway overpass in a post-apocalyptic looking stretch of Old San Francisco Town, a crippled pigeon's hobble away from the old, burnt out docks, diazepam to sedate feline, you have to expect some ne're-do-wells to come creeping around from time to time to cause a little mischief. Diazepam as adjunct, It's part of the charm. But my 1984 Cadillac Eldorado, an American classic that one would think even the most desperate, valium diazepam manufacturers, rock-hungry crackhead would respect enough to limp by at a wide berth with little more than a reverential whistle, Online stores for diazepam, had been broken into for the fourth time, and its interior had been stripped of pretty much everything except a few swaths of fine faux wood paneling.

I had to take action, euopean diazepam. Immediately, Where Can I Buy Diazepam.

I considered staging an all night stakeout with my blowgun in the bushes across the street from the gravel lot where I park and dart the next infidel who dared enter Sarge's golden chariot, Diazepam 5mg tablets, but there was a double episode of "Deal Or No Deal" on so that wasn't an option.

Instead, I decided to lay a trap, diazepam advanced guestbook 2.3.1, literally. Labor farm pharmaceutical diazepam europe, And believe you me, this trap I had in mind would teach my burglar such an awful lesson, I knew he'd be down to the closest public library to make a HotJobs account first thing the next morning, valium diazepam intestinal bleeding. I was going to send that bitch on the straight and narrow. Where Can I Buy Diazepam, I went to the store and bought a can of olestra Pringles, the fat free ones that warn that they'll cause whoever is foolish enough to enjoy them "loose stools." And as I watched some idiot who had just explained to Howie Mandel how she needed to win at least $300,000 to pay for a crucial medical procedure for her mom and to one day send her wild children to college decide to go for the million dollar top prize after she already had over $400,000 in the bank, I started eating those Pringles. Natural ingredients of diazepam, Eating them with abandon, more or less drinking them right out of the tube.

When I got about halfway through the can of delicious potato flake crisps, diazepam 5 mg, and the greedy idiot woman had lost all of her money to that evil banker, Diazepam versus lorazepam, I felt a rumble deep in my bowels.

My plan was working.

I carefully removed the remaining half of the Pringles from the can to keep their uniformity from being compromised and hunched towards the bathroom with the empty tube, buy diazepam.

And then, just like the label warned, my bowels began to go slack, Where Can I Buy Diazepam. But rather than deposit their troubled contents into the toilet bowl, Diazepam us consultation, I shot them into the bottom of the Pringles can, filling about a quarter of the tube with a fine brown froth before setting it aside. Once my bowels had finished uncoiling in the toilet and I knew I was in no danger of leaving the safety of the bathroom, diazepam next day shipping, I cleaned off my war torn ass, Diazepam ratiopharm, picked up my defiled Pringles can, and headed back to the living room, where the rest of the chips lay in wait, purchasing diazepam using visa debit card.

I then carefully placed the uneaten chips back in the can, Soma carisoprodol buy diazepam online, making it look like a mostly full tube of delicious Pringles. I replaced the cap, waited for a commercial break, quinaldine sulphate diazepam, and took my creation out to the Cadillac, Diazepam canada, placing it right on the dashboard with the doors unlocked.

About an hour later, after some other nitwit had greedily bet away a life-changing sum of money on "Deal Or No Deal" I heard a blood-curdling scream from outside my window, diazepam injections, followed by several minutes straight of stomach evacuating retching. Fake blue diazepam, My enemy had taken the bait, pressing his luck with the contents of my beautiful car one too many times, going for the crackhead equivalent of the top prize and losing it all, diazepam interactions, and I haven't had the Cadillac broken into since. Diazepam online usa pharmacy, Yes, once you pop, you can't stop, that is until you realize that that last Pringle you just ate was sitting on a polluted sea of Martin Sargent's wrath. And that won't just make you stop eating Pringles, but stop everything and completely reevaluate your fucked up life.

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25 Responses to “Where Can I Buy Diazepam”

  1. 1 taylorgenovese Says:

    This is a work of literary art, Martin Sargent. I’m glad you decided to start up SargeWorld again. Since Revision3 gave you that proverbial Pringle-Can-Of-Shit, I haven’t been able to my fix of the Sargent…this blog is helping me.

  2. 2 CaptainOlle Says:

    I’m speechless.. such an important life lesson wrapped into a beautiful story..

  3. 3 bigshotprof Says:

    So let me get this straight. You significantly elevated the value of Pringles on the nutrition pyramid by inserting a measure of Martin’s Finest into the bottom of the can, where it sat beneath a pile of nature’s own little coffee filters. Hours later a guy comes along, opens the can and eats down to the “bonus features” without any warning? I have heard the saying before, but never applied literally. You sir, are the master. Your Sh/t don’t stink!

  4. 4 Evan Ward Says:

    Such a genius.

  5. 5 drewolanoff Says:

    *slow clap*

    Bravo sir, bravo!

  6. 6 gungaroo22 Says:

    So…. beautiful….

    You truly are the writer of our era. Never before have I coughed up as much tar and blackened pieces of my ever decaying lungs as when I read this post.

  7. 7 avaiana Says:

    And with this post Martin is back!

  8. 8 dragonbladev Says:

    LMAO, great story martin.

  9. 9 rhuckuz Says:

    I think I speak for everyone when I say “FIRST!”

  10. 10 EvanCarroll Says:

    This sounds like it was inspired by the famous post on craiglist… At least partly..
    http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/182862349.html

  11. 11 FirestoneX Says:

    I hate to read. I do enough of that in college..

    But you Mr. Sargent have stories that must be shared with the world. And I will be there to read them all.

    P.S.
    It wasn’t Gator was it?

  12. 12 GrandMoffCory Says:

    Sarge, I salute you on a story well done.
    That was amazing.

  13. 13 isildur Says:

    Comedy Gold. I nearly pissed my pants laughing at this. Thanks.

  14. 14 eleventhprovince Says:

    genius! Pure, mad genius.

  15. 15 phillip.lewis Says:

    Your worn torn arse? OMG. Has Johnny O’Bannion seen it?

    Good story.

  16. 16 Jim_McD Says:

    LOL, literally LOL. I, fucking, love you man.

    And I’m glad I bought Doritos instead of Pringles this afternoon.

  17. 17 fairymama Says:

    I’m slightly disturbed. But more shocked that you manage to drive an ‘84 Caddy in CA and haven’t been taken out by the EPA freaks. And I will certainly never look at Pringles the same again….

  18. 18 jayvee f. Says:

    fantastic martin!!

  19. 19 AussieGirl373 Says:

    Oh Martin, it is so good to hear from you again!
    We’ve greatly missed your inane banter.

  20. 20 ESPO Says:

    martin… i fuckin dig it man… long-time fan

    i was riding unemployment for almost 4 months earlier this year (took the whole damn summer off) before i got my shit together… and i must say that your brain will approach maximum creative mental capacity. be it due to fear, hate, the unknown, or the adrenaline rush of a new beginning. so use it wisely… which i have a feeling this brilliant post is only the tip of the iceberg. in my humble opinion… ‘web drifter’ was the real deal.

    peace… live long… prosper… and read more hunter thompson / charles bukowski

  21. 21 Mr. Spork Says:

    Meanwhile, half-way acorss the blogosphere. . .

    . . . the carjacker dropped me off in some neighborhood I didn’t recognize. He had taken my wallet, my cell phone and the small lunch bag I carry peanutbutter crackers in for when my blood sugar gets dangerously low. I must have been walking for an hour looking for someone, anyone who would lend a hand to a mugged and carless soul.

    That’s when I started getting shaky.

    When you’re diabetic and your blood sugar starts to crash you start to get the shakes – a signal that your body is running on fumes. I’ve been in this territory before and I know where it can lead.

    Moneyless and without a way to even call for help, I’m as close to being homeless as I’ve ever been. Thanks to my earlier decision to get lunch *after* I got fuel and the fact that I was jacked when I was leaving the Mobil station made me feel like a hungry hobo indeed.

    As I wandered through this urban desert, populated only with broken down cars and trash cans my eyes started searching the sidewalks and alleys. One of these trash cans is going to have an uneaten doughtnut, or some other sugary or starchy snack that will keep me alive for a few more hours.

    Then I saw it. Seemingly an oasis – the Pringles can.

    Surely they’re stale I thought, abandoned here when this car was last driven, probably months before. Yes, they’ve got to be stale, but they’ll do. I ripped open the can and without taking even a cursory sniff I withdrew an inch stack and jammed it in my gob. . .

  22. 22 outthere396 Says:

    I myself once had a case of terrible of tummy troubles as severe as that. Of course not self inflicted as part of a diabolical plot. Mine stemmed from fish balls from a Chinese place on the other side of the bridge abutment where the freight train hauling high fructose corn syrup derailed a few months back. Desecrating a Pringles can for any less high purpose seems low, but after reading that Craigslist post and Googling Olestra, I must give my blessing.

  23. 23 zanzibar96 Says:

    I read, I cried, I was in shock, I was laughing my ass off. After experiencing the multiple break-ins to my own car, I totally understand your attempt to get the guy. I myself had more granduer efforts which included electrocution but all very high in price in the long run. So I stand here, arms raised in the air, applauding your scheme to get the low life. I will remember this the next time my car has a break in.

    Really miss seeing you on The Screen Savers with all your craziness. Too bad that so-called network COMCAST doesn’t have a clue and really screwed up a good thing which corporations usually do. Keep doing the thing that martin does so well!!!!

  24. 24 stacy Says:

    As a fellow broken-in car victim, I cried, I laughed, … your story of revenge was disgusting, revolting, …. and absolutely brilliant!! :)

  25. 25 nelzone Says:

    Martan – all I can say is – I hope this is a true story – a thing of terrible beauty.

    Cheers!

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